Yeah….who am I kidding?
I’m still mad at you.
I was so looking forward to the fun!
The energy, the sharing, the teamwork.
When we’re both on….it seems to flow.
And if one of us isn’t, it’s rough.
Earlier on it was you, for whatever reason.
Over time, as we worked out the wrinkles,
Our system improved. The teamwork evolved.
A little more giving and sharing and helping.
With you, somehow, my confidence is shaky.
But I always keep trying. How else will I get better?
And our teamwork seemed to flow more and more.
An important time was coming up….to me anyway.
Because of the people who would be there.
I practiced and worked at it. I had high hopes.
This time, though, a few things intruded into our circle,
And then it seemed as if I was going to fall apart.
I wasn’t scared. I felt disappointed.
And somehow I managed to hold it together.
People were appreciative and sounded happy.
That helped a bit.
But later on….I was trembling, which surprised me.
And then I realized it was a flood of anger welling over me.
I tried to put it into perspective….thinking my quick temper
Would dissipate, as it usually does.
But no….it’s still there.
Every time I think about it.
God, you drive me crazy!
Note: I wrote this poem on Dec. 12, 2011….at a time when I had a friend, who meant a lot to me, and who managed to re-ignite my up-till-then-gone-into-hiding poetry writing energies. 🙂